New job posting: Relationship Specialist

I woke up today and had job postings from careerbuilder in my inbox. I know I just wrote about how people should be cautious of these postings from job sites but I had to share this one. I am not going to apply to this because: 1. I am NOT a relationship specialist (those who know me well know why) 2. It would be so awkward to be an "Abstinence Examiner". Just saying. What the heck is an abstinence examiner? Would I have to write about chastity belts and promise rings? I guess I could pass on Steve Harvey's advice from his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: wait 90 days to give up the cookie (aka sex). Or...I could pass along the advice my lovely roommate Shane has given me, "He won't want the whole ice cream truck if you're passing out the Popsicles for free." I really wish people would keep food out of this (my love in life). I can't look at cookies or Popsicles in the same way anymore. I think I'll just star this job post instead of deleting it. Maybe with some more dating experience and when my loans start kicking in I'll consider applying to be the "Abstinence Examiner".